Sigrid – Page 13

Categories: Prison

Proposed Mail Rule Change Hearing Speech

Good afternoon,

While the FDOC pretends to recognize the important role that family plays in the success of the people in their care, they keep taking steps to scar and erase the family bonds. Today, we have to plead for the simple act of reading a handwritten letter, for incarcerated individuals to hold paper in their hands, to see the little hesitations, the added smiles, and guess the emotions through the shape of the words. My husband’s letters are everything to me, and I still don’t think I can understand how much mine mean to him. This is the last tangible link, and the only place of vague privacy. Now, for the sake of a few new computers every 6 months, the FDOC is trying to take this away, and collect our data to share with a private company and its individuals.

Besides that, the amount of time it is going to take to get a “letter” to our loved ones will be extended and it is not acceptable when e-mails will then be the only way to reach them. FL Prisons and JPay have already proven themselves unfit to provide working material and handle the emails. Just a week ago, at UCI, the guys were without Wi-Fi or decent access to kiosks for 2 weeks. Without the regular mail, this means complete cut-off from the outside and their families. Same idea when they are in confinement, can’t access canteen, and we will be unable to send them stamps and paper. Also the end of the blank greeting cards we donate so they have a semblance of holiday spirit and treat their friends.

On top of this, the FDOC wants to limit the number of pages we can send. Are you able to limit the number of feelings I need to express to my husband too?

The new rule doesn’t even take overseas mail in consideration, which shows how out of touch with reality the minds behind those rules are.

This change will not destroy whatever contraband you believe comes through the mail, it will destroy human spirits and families.

Have a nice day.

Good afternoon,

On top of this, the FDOC wants to limit the number of pages we can send. Are you able to limit the number of feelings I need to express to my husband too?

The new rule doesn’t even take overseas mail in consideration, which shows how out of touch with reality the minds behind those rules are.

This change will not destroy whatever contraband you believe comes through the mail, it will destroy human spirits and families.

Have a nice day.

Categories: Uncategorized

The unjustified shame and harassment of wives of incarcerated individuals.

I posted this comment under a Truly Criminal video that used some of my personal pictures, hoping to spark some reflective thinking on the limits of informative true crime, and they hid it.

To clarify, I am here for the true crime documentaries and podcasts (even wrote articles & had my own podcast in the past), and I think Truly Criminal does a good job overall. Whether you start with a mission like Maggie Freleng or Sarah Turney, or simply discuss resolved/closed cases, I am not judging your motivations.
I also understand that being married to someone tied to a bad case comes with a risk of seeing said case in ID or Oxygen shows, YT videos and so on. I don’t like that, but I accept it.
My blood boils at some of the inaccuracies, fictionalization and pure fantasies, but when it concerns the case itself, I am not able to debate much to preserve the legal process (however, you could correct some yourself if you were doing some actual research through the case files).

However, I don’t have to keep quiet when it’s about me. “Prison wives” are expected to live hidden and ashamed, and I refuse to do that. This is why I have been sharing my story, so others feel seen & understood. It worked, I can’t tell you the number of messages I have received from women who reached out to me, A STRANGER, because they felt I was the only one who could understand their situation at that moment.

This is also why I have started the prison penpal program Wire of Hope, to give the opportunity to incarcerated people to present themselves in a different light and maybe find someone who believes in rehabilitation and will give them a second chance.

I volunteered as a teacher in a French Penitentiary for 2 years, and I’m also trying to do my part for criminal justice reform, something that is NOT against the victims, on the contrary, with for example restorative justice. Supporting people who have committed crimes so it does not happen again is a good thing for everyone. You can object to this, but I consider myself a good person.

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. I know him, deep and raw, like no one has ever known him, and I am very proud of everything he overcame and the man he has become. But because my objective is not to attract attention on him/his case but to help others (and myself) navigate a difficult time, there was never the need to disclose his name.
People have done this for me (“outing” me) repeatedly over the years. It’s always followed by rape and/or death threats… by people upset because of who I love? Can you objectively believe you are better than me if you do that? This always blows my mind…

Last year, I agreed to talk publicly in order to promote Wire of Hope, on the condition that my husband’s name was NOT revealed, so his case and the victims were left out of it. Call me naive… The producers respected my request but then trash gossip magazines stole my story and pictures – but never mentioned Wire of Hope of course, and made it sound like I talked to them (I never have).
A French garbage magazine even put me on their cover, published 3 pages of straight insults with pictures, including of my kid and one of me pregnant in my underwear. Even if my husband had done what they wrote, they were treating me like I was an even worse person.

I do want my voice to be heard, but for a cause & not like that. I also have the absolute right to live my life as anyone else off and on social media. This does not mean it’s okay or legal to use my photos for shock-value or entertainment without my permission.

It is not okay in gossip magazines, and it’s not okay in true crime videos about a 16 year-old case that has nothing to do with me, or my child.
I was trying to start a conversation, because I feel Truly Criminal crossed a line. I wasn’t coming after them angrily, I was hoping to make them think of the reason they added us to their video, if it was a graceful one, and the possible consequences. But they basically tried to shut me up and though they used my image FOR PROFIT, they ignored me.
I have a real problem with keeping my mouth shut so here we are. If you made it to the end, thank you for reading.

Families impacted by incarceration are numerous in the USA and they have it REALLY hard. Be kind, be supportive, and if this is too hard for you to be an okay human, just leave them alone.

Categories: Life Updates

Endoscopy for baby

Our sweet boy had his first general anesthesia for an upper endoscopy @WolfsonChildren yesterday. Mom and dad were stressed out but he did amazing. The doctor was really sweet (and funny enough, his own son’s name is Soren too!), and one thing I like in Jacksonville is that they have great specialty care for children! 👨‍⚕️.
Everything looked healthy (which, of course, is great news) and we are waiting for the biopsies’ results now. We were hoping we would finally get some answers, but this might not be it yet.

Because of the pandemic and the covid delta variant being insane here in Jacksonville, he had to get a Covid test with a 3 day-window before his procedure day – so Saturday morning. The test was done by a Wolfson pediatric nurse at Baptist hospital. The man was really fast. Soren hates covid tests – he got so many :(, but this time he was only about to cry when it was over. He was negative so the endoscopy was on track, and we had to self-isolate until then. I was allowed to work from home as the beginning of the months are always very busy for me.
We had to checked in at 7 am for his procedure that was scheduled at 9:10 am. His GI specialist was not available before the end of the month and I didn’t want to wait further as Soren has been very sick lately, so another MD did his procedure.

We almost did not wait before being installed in a pre-op room. We saw a few of nurses, the anesthesiologist and the GI. Everyone explained what they were going to do and asked confirmation of medical history.
We did not sleep the night before. I think Soren maybe was feeling my stress and it was stressing him out, because he kept turning and crying until 3 am (and my alarm clock was at 5:30). After they took his vitals and he changed to the gown, I turned off the light and snuggled with him so he slept a bit. My heart sank when they announced a code blue on the speakers and I held my baby a bit tighter.

Right on time, they came to take him, I kiss him quickly and tried to act cool as I was having a little panicking moment inside. Then I gathered our stuff and went back to the waiting room. It was SO fast. The doctor came to tell me how it went and what he saw (nothing wrong visually, he took as many biopsies as possible) and then I waited a bit longer while Soren was in recovery room. They took me in a post-op room and I arrived at the same time as Soren. He was awake and drinking. He looked pretty chill. He didn’t say a word to anyone though. He is a chatty boy but not with strangers lol. He looked cozy in bed but they installed him on me in the chair, and gave him a slushy. He was quiet when the nurses were in the room but when they would go out, he would raise the hand with the IV and complain. I can’t blame him, IV are uncomfortable at best and hurt on the hand. I know I wanted to get rid of mine really badly after I gave birth.

Because he was fully awake and was drinking and not getting sick, he was released and we could head home to rest.

They told me he would be tired and dizzy, could possibly throw up (and there could be blood but totally normal) and that we had to stick to quiet activities. I was expecting a quiet afternoon and a long nap, but nope, after a couple of hours he wanted to eat and he was all over the place as if nothing happened 🙂

He looks great and can have tons of energy, but he also regularly has a high fever, not eat or do anything but sleep for a few days, have bouts of projectile vomiting, and I won’t even mention the horror stories of what’s happening down there 😬.
After getting better, it just looks like it’s getting worse and this is becoming really hard to navigate by myself. I ran out of sick days and annual leave but I have FMLA/FSWP and I’m grateful for a job that has been quite flexible with me and the health insurance it provides. Adjusting to the US healthcare system has not been easy! When you are from Europe, you are kind of used to everyone having access to care. Here, you’re lucky if your work comes with benefits. I guess it refrains people from abusing the system too, but I find it pretty sad, when my son is very sick outside his doctor’s office hours, to pause and wonder if I can afford the $100 of the ER trip.
It’s been a really hard couple of weeks, and I have been having Ménière episodes too because I am stressed out and don’t eat or sleep well. The perfect combination to trigger bad crisis.

Soren looks really good today and I hope he is able to visit his dad this weekend and go back to daycare on Monday.

Categories: Life Updates

First Haircut

I was trying to see how curly Søren’s hair was going to be, but his hair was getting long, sweaty very easily, and it kept getting stuck in the bibs. I heard his dad asking “isn’t it time for a haircut?” and since he was about to get surgery and I didn’t want his hair to get stuck on the hospital robe, it sort of gave me the push to make an appointment for his first haircut.

He was a little confused but let the stylist do whatever she wanted. No cries or complaints, he didn’t move or anything.
He went from baby to little boy in 10 minutes 😱.

We went to Sharkey’s Cuts for Kids Jacksonville, FL
1650 San Pablo Rd S Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32224
You can easily make an appointment to any Sharkey’s Cuts for Kids online, we took the “Boys 1st Haircut (certificate, picture & lock of hair)” package, it was $25 something before tip.

Categories: Recommendations

What to watch

Ocean (France TV Slash)
Unfortunately, it’s only available in French on France.TV, but if you do understand French, I definitely recommend.

I randomly saw an Instagram post about season 2, and that’s how I discovered there was an intimate show about Ocean. Ocean is a French comedian, a trans-man previously famous for his stand-up show “la lesbienne invisible” (the invisible lesbian).
The first season follows him as he begins his FtM transition, including the first hormone shot, the coming-out – one private and one public, his family and friends’ adjustment and misgendering mistakes… and all the questioning and restructuring he needs to go through becoming a white (heterosexual?) male as a radical feminist. I’m barely exaggerating saying it felt like becoming the enemy. His friends also pointed out to him he now had a pattern of dating young women. All this triggered a will to date a larger spectrum of people (shown more in season 2), non-binary people, maybe men, and a clear annoyance of looking too much like a boring heterosexual couple with one of his partners. Who he sleeps with is not what is interesting here, the reflection on it is.

Season 2 starts two years after the end of season 1, and Ocean now benefits from “passing” (which means he is perceived as a cisgender man). Aware of his privilege, he wanted to share the screen time with other people of diverse backgrounds, journeys and identities. He goes to meet them and let them tell their stories, educative for all of us. Each episode is around a theme, like racism, fatphobia, intersex, disability and more.
I watched the season 1 in one sitting and watched the season 2 the next day. I think it’s a great introduction to transgender issues. My only criticism would be that I feel you maybe have to already be a little educated on the subject to understand everything as many terms are thrown around and may be confusing to some who don’t know them.

https://fb.watch/75iUkxurcN/

Trial by Fire (HULU)

It’s an Edward Zwick movie so you already know two things: 1) it’s going to be quality, 2) you’ll cry at some point. It is based on the real story of Cameron Todd Willingham who was accused and then convicted of killing his 3 toddler daughters, killed in a fire that destroyed the family’s home. Everything is obviously horrible and tragic, but I won’t say more to not spoil the movie if you are not familiar with the case.

Life Overtakes Me (NETFLIX)

This 39-minute film is on Resignation Syndrome, an illness that put you in a coma-like state and that hundreds of refugee children are suffering from in Sweden, and that is now developing in other countries (there are known cases in Australia refugee detention centers). I saw the trailer and I had SO MANY questions. Why does this happen, how does it start, what is it really like for the child and the family, how long can it last, how does it stop? It seemed both insane and fascinating, and luckily the film answered all my questions. Resignation Syndrome is provoked by extreme trauma (they are refugees, friendly reminder that refugees are not immigrating for pleasure, they are fleeing a terrible and life-threatening situation), and an uncertain resident status. I have zero problem imagining how terrifying and stressful it must be to face deportation and being sent back to the horrors you escaped (I mean I am stressed about my own immigration status when the worst that can happen to me is to be send back to a country with healthcare), but it seems incredible to be completely unresponsive for months as a result! The human body and brain will never stop surprising me! Check out this film if you’re curious about this too!

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