Sigrid – Page 2

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a Happy New Year filled with hope, love, and endless possibilities! As we step into 2024, I’m grateful for the support from this incredible community. I am not the best at posting but I appreciate you being here, whether silently or not, while I’m sharing my journey navigating immigration in the USA, as a prison wife, and exploring crafts, books, and myself. I’m excited to continue sharing this rollercoaster of life with you all. May this year bring joy, strength, and positive changes to all of us.

Categories: This American Life

Pumpkin Carving Sunday

As the leaves turn fiery shades of red and orange, and the crisp autumn air (let me dream, we have none of that in Florida) ushers in the spirit of Halloween, a timeless tradition comes to life in households across the country. The tradition of carving pumpkins, or jack-o’-lanterns, is a cherished practice that symbolizes the essence of this spooktacular season. This year, I had the privilege of sharing this age-old tradition with my son for the very first time.

The History of Pumpkin Carving

Before delving into my personal experience, let’s take a quick peek at the history of pumpkin carving. This artful practice has its roots in Celtic folklore. The Celts celebrated the festival of Samhain, which marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter. They would carve turnips and other root vegetables and place them by their doors to ward off evil spirits.
The transition from turnips to pumpkins is said to have occurred when Irish immigrants arrived in America and found that pumpkins, native to North America, were not only larger but also easier to carve. This adaptation led to the creation of the modern jack-o’-lantern, now an iconic symbol of Halloween.

The First Pumpkin Carving Experience

Sunday seemed like the perfect day for us to embark on this adventure. Armed with our chosen pumpkin, one YouTube tutorial in mind, an array of carving tools, and creative spirits, we set up in the kitchen.

I choose the pumpkin by myself last week after dropping him of at his grandparents and allowing myself a slow Target run (I needed groceries but I also wanted to spoil my little guy with a couple of toys). No pumpkin patch this year.

Designing the Jack-o’-Lantern: After washing and drying the pumpkin, we discussed our designs. My son drew some lines on the pumpkin and I tried to make a design around it – I am not the most artistic person. But first you have to remove the guts. I’m glad I bought a carving kit because I tried to cut the top with what I thought was a good kitchen knife but I got nowhere, but it was so easy with the tools! Scooping out the pumpkin guts was a little messy but fun.
Then it was time to actually carve and again, wouldn’t recommend doing it without the dedicated tools. It was done so fast, I was really surprised.
It was time to light up our creation. Placing (fake) tea lights inside the hollowed pumpkins finished setting up the scene for Halloween.

We did a little photoshoot before and after:

Categories: Immigration, Naturalization, This American Life

Naturalization process

Becoming a U.S. citizen has never been a dream growing up or anything like that, but with the recent years, the idea of calling the United States my home, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it, has become a necessity. Today, I want to share my journey to naturalization in the USA.

The Decision
My journey to naturalization began with a decision. I had been living in the United States as a permanent resident for several years, and though I am still working of the sense of belonging and attachment to this country, I knew that becoming a U.S. citizen was the next logical step in my journey. For practical reasons (freeing my mother-in-law from her sponsorship) but also being able to vote and be a full participant in the community I live in.

The Research
The naturalization process is quite a straightforward process, but I was initially surprised that I was not eligible after 3 years of living in the USA being married to a US citizen. You have to live TOGETHER to be eligible and obviously, with an incarcerated husband I didn’t fit this criteria. There are exception if you are “involuntarily” separated, for example if your spouse is in the army, but prison is considered “voluntary”, yes…
So I had to wait 2 more years to qualify.

The Application
After gathering all the necessary documents, I filled out Form N-400, the Application for Naturalization. This step required careful attention to detail, as always with USCIS, as any mistake could lead to delays in the process. They asked information on where you lived and worked and so on for the last 5 years – so if you moved, you need to know the dates of each move.
I submitted the application and awaited a response from USCIS.

The Biometrics Appointment
A few weeks later, I received notice of my biometrics appointment. This required me to provide my fingerprints and have a (super ugly) photograph taken. It was a straightforward step, but it felt like another milestone closer to my goal.

The Interview
In the meantime, in May 2023, my removal of condition was finally approved with no interview. My interview for my naturalization took place on June 15th, 2023.
The interview with the USCIS officer was a stressful as I had to demonstrate my knowledge of U.S. government and history and prove my proficiency in the English language. I was understandably nervous, but the officer was friendly, which put me at ease. They are really not there to make you fail at all.

The Civics and English Tests
The day of the interview you have to pass the naturalization test (during the interview, it is not a separate test). When June 15th arrived, I was well-prepared. I had been working on the hundred civic questions for the past couple of months. I answered questions about the Constitution, history, and government with surprising confidence. The English language test went smoothly as well. Passing these tests was a moment of immense relief, as they symbolized the end of my journey with USCIS and my first step into integrating into American society.

The Short Wait
After successfully completing the interview and tests, I was right away given the date of my Oath ceremony (June 28th, 2023). In the meantine, USCIS conducted a thorough background check, and you have one last form you have to fill the day of the interview, ensuring that you still meet all the eligibility requirements.

The Oath of Allegiance
The culmination of my journey to naturalization was the Oath of Allegiance ceremony. The room was filled with people from diverse backgrounds and countries. We were allowed to have one guest each. We took the oath, pledging our allegiance to the United States. It was a moment of celebration for many, marking the end of one journey and the beginning of a new one as a U.S. citizen.

The Benefits of U.S. Citizenship
Becoming a U.S. citizen has opened up a world of opportunities for me. I can now vote, sponsor family members for Green Cards, travel more freely, and enjoy the social security benefits that come with citizenship. These privileges have made all the effort and patience worthwhile.

My journey to naturalization in the USA was a challenging but rewarding experience. This journey has shown me the importance of perseverance, dedication, and the power of dreams realized. If you’re on a similar path, remember that your journey is unique, and each step brings you closer to your own moment of triumph.

Categories: Books

La Chair est triste, hélas !

– french –
Ma chair est triste. Elle subit l’abstinence imposée par l’incarcération de mon conjoint. Ovidie, elle, fait la grève du sexe cis hétérosexuel, par choix. Parce qu’elle en a marre de tous ces efforts autant financiers que temporels ou/et douloureux qu’elle s’imposait pour… être mal baisée. Être mal baisée encore, et encore, au mieux. Car au pire c’est les violences sexuelles. Si je n’étais pas dans la frustration totale alors que je désire mon mari et que le polyamour ne me séduit pas, baiserais-je encore avec des mecs ? S’il n’était pas là, cet idéal imaginé qui résulte en abstinence, voudrais-je encore coucher avec des hommes ? Je suis une personne sexuelle et pourtant, je ne suis pas loin des 10 ans d’abstinence. Par amour, sans aucun doute. Par ennui, aussi. Car cette grève d’Ovidie me parle. Moi non plus je ne veux plus faire tous ces efforts pour être insatisfaite au lit. Avec le temps et en apprenant à connaitre mon corps, je suis devenue plus exigeante ; mais savoir ce que l’on veut ne fait que renforcer les déceptions dans bien des rapports. Refuser le sexe hétéro, c’est refuser les normes que la société (toujours) hétéronormative et sexiste – voire misogyne – nous impose. C’est reprendre un peu de contrôle sur soi. Et c’est malheureux d’en être là. La chair est triste, hélas !

– english –
My flesh is sad. It undergoes the abstinence imposed by the incarceration of my spouse. Ovidie is on strike for cis heterosexual sex, by choice. Because she’s fed up with all these efforts, financial as well as temporal or/and painful, that she imposed on herself to… be badly fucked. Getting fucked badly over and over again, at best. Because at worst, it is sexual violence. If I weren’t in total frustration since I desire my husband and polyamory doesn’t seduce me, would I still fuck with guys? If he wasn’t there, this imagined ideal that results in abstinence, would I still want to sleep with men? I am a sexual person and yet, I am not far from 10 years of abstinence. Out of love, no doubt. Out of boredom, too. Because this Ovidie strike speaks to me. I don’t want to go through all those efforts to be dissatisfied in bed either. Over time and learning to know my body, I became more demanding; but knowing what you want only reinforces the disappointments in many sexual relationships. To refuse straight sex is to refuse the norms that (still) heteronormative and sexist – even misogynistic – society imposes on us. It’s taking some control back. And it’s unfortunate to be at this point. The flesh is sad, alas!

Categories: Immigration, Removal of Conditions

Removal of Conditions

When you are a conditional permanent resident who obtained status through marriage, you want to apply to remove the conditions on your permanent resident status before the end of your 2-year green card. The removal of conditions will give you a 10-year green card.
To apply, you need to file a I-751 petition.

You can only file 90 days before your green card expires but do it as early as possible. I know Covid hit and is one reason it was so delayed, but I applied in May 2019 and was only approved in May 2023!

Here what you need to provide:
– a check (the fee changes every year so check the website to get the right amount)
– the I-751
– Copy of your current Green Card

and proof of a bona fide relationship, I sent:
– US Marriage certificate
– Copy of French Marriage certificate
– Copy of French Family Record Book
– Tax Return Transcripts showing taxes filed jointly
– Life insurance policies showing my spouse as beneficiary
– Notarized affidavits talking about our relationship (I think 3 or 4)
– Copy of Alan’s power of attorney designating me to make health/financial/etc. decisions for him if needed.
– Copies of photos of us together and with family throughout the years.
– Cards received from family and friends for our wedding or addressed to us both through the years.
– Phone calls record

This is if you are in a similar situation and that your spouse is incarcerated. Otherwise you have plenty more options to prove you are in a bona fide relationship, for example:
– lease or mortgage at both names / proof of joint residence
– joint bank account
– receipts of gifts
– photos of diverse celebrations including your wedding
– birth certificates of children born from your relationship
– proofs of travels together, especially to your home country

Like I said earlier I applied in May 2019, in November my case was “ready for an interview”, then Covid hit and USCIS shut down. In January 2021 I inquired about my case as I saw others were moving along, and my case was updated at, one again, “ready for an interview”. Then nothing happened until I was able to apply for nationalization so I sort of gave up on my Removal of Conditions. And I was finally surprised by receiving my 10-year Green Card out of the blue with no interview in May 2023.

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