Last day of the trial, and glad it was because it has been hard to sit through the horrible details of both the case and Alan’s life, and to see him distressed many times.
Last day means closing arguments from both sides, and the jury deliberation. Maybe one of the worst moment was to wait for a verdict, and I was really hoping we would get one that same day so I stayed at the courthouse waiting. It took a little over 3 hours I believe but we did get a verdict.

The clerk read the verdict. It was confusing because at first they read all the reasons that made him eligible for the death penalty, but they didn’t find that it was especially heinous or cruel so that gave me hope – Alan said this was the moment he knew the verdict… But then they said the aggravating factors were sufficient for a sentence of death… Right after they said the mitigating circumstances had greater weight than the aggravating factors (which would mean LWOP) but the judge screwed it up and sent the jury back and I wasn’t sure anymore. Then it was confirmed the judge messed up so I thought it was LWOP before I realized that there was a second verdict (2 crimes), so my heart went through the same rollercoaster again but the verdict was indeed Life Without Parole. And he was sentenced right after.

The sound is horrible but if you want to watch:

I am personally so glad it’s over. Of course, because of the verdict, but also because the preparations and months leading to it were mentally exhausting. It definitely put some heaviness on our relationship, especially not being able to visit and have a full private conversation with him. I’m relieved this is all behind us. I had nightmares for 2 weeks straight afterwards but nightmares have slowly dispersed. He is off death row now; something we never thought would be possible when we first met.