Last day of the trial, and glad it was because it has been hard to sit through the horrible details of both the case and Alan’s life, and to see him distressed many times.
Last day means closing arguments from both sides, and the jury deliberation. Maybe one of the worst moment was to wait for a verdict, and I was really hoping we would get one that same day so I stayed at the courthouse waiting. It took a little over 3 hours I believe but we did get a verdict.

The clerk read the verdict. It was confusing because at first they read all the reasons that made him eligible for the death penalty, but they didn’t find that it was especially heinous or cruel so that gave me hope – Alan said this was the moment he knew the verdict… But then they said the aggravating factors were sufficient for a sentence of death… Right after they said the mitigating circumstances had greater weight than the aggravating factors (which would mean LWOP) but the judge screwed it up and sent the jury back and I wasn’t sure anymore. Then it was confirmed the judge messed up so I thought it was LWOP before I realized that there was a second verdict (2 crimes), so my heart went through the same rollercoaster again but the verdict was indeed Life Without Parole. And he was sentenced right after.

The sound is horrible but if you want to watch:

I am personally so glad it’s over. Of course, because of the verdict, but also because the preparations and months leading to it were mentally exhausting. It definitely put some heaviness on our relationship, especially not being able to visit and have a full private conversation with him. I’m relieved this is all behind us. I had nightmares for 2 weeks straight afterwards but nightmares have slowly dispersed. He is off death row now; something we never thought would be possible when we first met.

Dr. James clinical neuro-psychologist who also talked about brain development, and Alan being susceptible to being influenced by an authority figure like Michael Jackson (another of his co-defendants). It was hard to hear how he described the old himself to her. It seems like it was getting to him to as he appeared to cry.
It became even more emotional when several family members testified.

And Alan made his allocution that day.

After that the defense rested.

The 2 main testimonies that day were of Dr Castillo, clinical & forensic psychologist who talked about Alan’s ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) and Dr. Skolly-Danziger, pharmacy & toxicology expert who explained the consequences of the drugs (like those Alan was taking) on the brain.
There was also a testimony from Alan’s former friends’ mother who took him home when he was homeless at 14/15 who talked about how he was when he was in their home – which was, a respectful helpful kid, with no troubles.
Followed by another expert, former Florida State Prison Warden McAndrew, now prison/jail consultant. He talked about Alan’s exemplary prison record – zero violent disciplinary reports – and how he could be a productive prisoner if he were sentenced to Life Without Parole.
A stressful moment for me was when the State tried to introduce our family situation in the trial despite motions against it.

The second day the State continued with their witnesses and then the defense started calling their witnesses, first, Dr Steinberg, professor of psychology and neuroscience with impressive credentials who brought light on the adolescence brain.

This time I was not alone in the courtroom as the defense’s character witnesses had arrived. It felt better and important to have people on his side of the courtroom to show he has people who care about and love him. I think only having the wife was not giving the best of impression as the wife is usually seen as crazy if not hybristophile. Having a full family still supporting someone incarcerated 17 years later tells much more.
On a personal level, I knew the stories that were shared, but they were still heartbreaking to hear…