Lost in Florida

Personal Blog

Categories: Cards, Prison

The end of physical mail in prisons / how prison wives turn to e-cards

There are few things more important to a prison wife than staying in touch with her husband. But with the recent move to end physical mail in prisons, it’s becoming a little more complicated to write.

As the use of physical mail in prisons continues to decline, prison wives and families are turning to e-mails to stay connected with their loved ones. While some may see this as a positive development, others worry about the lack of touch and intimacy. This is my case and as I really deplore this radical change, however, we now have to deal with it.

There are a number of reasons why e-mailing is not always the preferred method of communication for prison wives. First, holding a paper that contains the handwriting of your loved ones, their smell, is simply irreplaceable.  Secondly, it is increasingly expensive to send e-mails to prisons.
However, many prisons have restrictions on what types of limited mail can be sent to inmates, they go through 3rd party companies… making it more difficult to send letters and cards. There is also the simple fact that most people now communicate electronically, and prison wives, families and pen pals are no different – especially if writing from overseas.

As a cardmaker, it is incredibly frustrating for me that the cards I create – usually with my husband in mind as he is my main inspiration, are cards he will now be unable to see…
Well, or so I thought at first… Because I recently started to send them to him electronically.

E-cards are not my favorites but they offer a number of advantages over traditional mail. They are cheaper to send, and there are less restrictions on what can be sent. In addition, they can be sent instantaneously, which means we prison wives can stay in touch with our loved ones more easily.

So, how can we turn to e-cards? Websites that offer free e-cards – same issue as greeting cards – rarely fit the situation of having an incarcerated husband and/or friend. You might find sites that offers a wide variety of e-cards but they might not respect the JPay, Access Corrections, etc. rules, the format (and so the conditions to go through and not be rejected either by the institutional e-mail provider or the prison staff)  plus you want to be able to find the perfect card, whether it’s funny, romantic, or just a simple hello!

So I am launching my own e-cards! The same way I was hoping to help with my greeting cards (still available and if your loved ones’ facility still accept them, lucky you!) when I started Sweet Undertone, I hope my shop will allow you to find the perfect e-card for your loved one!

 

And for those who don’t want to send a greeting card to a 3rd party shredder but still want to use paper in the facilities the mail is copied and given in paper, I am also launching printable versions of some of my cards:

Categories: Prison

Richard Tabler

I reposted the post I wrote for Wire of Hope’s Instagram yesterday but I wanted to talk more about Richard Tabler. First, he is looking for pen pals and that’s how we met, he joined Wire of Hope, and we stroke a friendship. He is on Texas death row (already terrible life conditions), but he lives in harsher circumstances as he is the only person who is permanently housed on death watch, at Polunski Unit. A rapid Google search will make you believe his mom smuggled a phone to him and he used it to threaten a State Senator’s daughters, which lead to his super-high security housing and the arrest of his mother and sister, and their definite loss of visitation. The truth is that he used a smuggled phone – his mother has nothing to do with this, but she did buy minutes for the phone so he could call her – and made a call trying to raise awareness on the living conditions on Texas death row. Obviously, making an unauthorized phone call from inside to someone of power was not the smartest move, but does this deserve an unending housing on DEATH WATCH? All his neighbors are men who have received an execution date, and as he builds relationships with them, they get closer to their date and eventually, he witnesses them leave to their death. On top of this mental torture, he has not been allowed to see his family since the phone incident, over 13 years ago.
I suppose I relate as I feel he is the only one who has an idea of what I’m going through, having lost my visits too. He says it’s different however, and it is, because it’s not his life partner, there is no child involved, but it’s been going on for so long it makes me sick for him. I have a really hard time accepting prison authorities have almost all-power as there is no real oversight, and no one cares enough to change that… Anyway, if you’d like to get to know Richard, here is his profile on Wire of Hope: https://wireofhope.com/prison-penpal-richard-tabler/

 

Categories: Books, Prison

Within the Shadows of Life

Richard was writing his autobiography when he first joined Wire of Hope. He tells the story of growing up feeling unwanted and unloved and how he embraced a life of crimes while searching for his place in the world… until he ended up on Texas death row.
Without even realizing it, and before he even found anyone to write to through us, we at Wire of Hope made an impact on him, and we were moved to read he even mentioned us in his book.

Categories: Prison

Wedding Anniversary

Today is the 6th anniversary of our legal union. I think we would agree that our commitment to each other took place a year prior, but some days it’s hard not to see the beginning of our correspondence as some type of magickal reunion. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years already…

@sigridwoh I still d❤️. 6 years down, forever to go. #weddinganniversary #prisonwifelife #prisonwifetiktok #incarceration #prisonrelationships #prisonwives #forever #prisonlove #lovelockeddown #longdistancerelationships #truelove #separatedbyprison #lockeduplove #longdistance #prisonvisits #notsilenced #facesofincarceration #happymarriage #deathwontdouspart #lovestory #loveyou ♬ memories – Maroon 5

Being in prison, it can be hard to make a wedding anniversary special.

Wedding anniversaries are a time for couples to celebrate their love and commitment. It is about celebrating the union of two people who pledged to stay together through the good times and the bad (when prison is involved, the bad can be so bad you know a marriage is really strong if it survives it). However, when one spouse is incarcerated it can be difficult to make this day special.

The main goal is to find ways for your spouse to still feel close with you on that day. It is easy when it falls on a visit day but if not, here are some ideas for you:

  • you can send them a card (cards are always special ❤️)

– you can find my “I still d❤️” card in my shop –

  • or/and a JPay/Corrlinks/other institutional email provider message letting them know you are thinking of them;
  • or write down some memories from your past anniversaries and share them with your spouse over the phone if you are lucky to get a phone call that day;
  • give them something they will enjoy receiving on that day. Incarcerated individuals cannot really receive gifts of course, so you are limited to paper gifts:  a book – maybe some type of relationship or appreciation journal, a beautiful picture of you two (or a nice picture of you!), etc. This will require some organization skills and luck to arrive around the right day.
  • You can also post about it on social media. Obviously, only do so if you feel it is safe to do so, on a private page with limited access maybe.  This is just a nice gesture for your incarcerated partner to be acknowledged. I also like to do that to remind people that yes, I do have partner, he is real and loved – and the middle finger to those who did not believe in us or did not support us is always a bonus 😉
  • You can also make your own personal playlist, on Spotify or any other music app you use, and send your spouse the list so they can get the same songs and  listen to it “together” – this will definitely require a budget considering the price of songs when in prison.

Happy Anniversary!

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