Lost in Florida

Personal Blog

Categories: Prison

Richard Tabler

I reposted the post I wrote for Wire of Hope’s Instagram yesterday but I wanted to talk more about Richard Tabler. First, he is looking for pen pals and that’s how we met, he joined Wire of Hope, and we stroke a friendship. He is on Texas death row (already terrible life conditions), but he lives in harsher circumstances as he is the only person who is permanently housed on death watch, at Polunski Unit. A rapid Google search will make you believe his mom smuggled a phone to him and he used it to threaten a State Senator’s daughters, which lead to his super-high security housing and the arrest of his mother and sister, and their definite loss of visitation. The truth is that he used a smuggled phone – his mother has nothing to do with this, but she did buy minutes for the phone so he could call her – and made a call trying to raise awareness on the living conditions on Texas death row. Obviously, making an unauthorized phone call from inside to someone of power was not the smartest move, but does this deserve an unending housing on DEATH WATCH? All his neighbors are men who have received an execution date, and as he builds relationships with them, they get closer to their date and eventually, he witnesses them leave to their death. On top of this mental torture, he has not been allowed to see his family since the phone incident, over 13 years ago.
I suppose I relate as I feel he is the only one who has an idea of what I’m going through, having lost my visits too. He says it’s different however, and it is, because it’s not his life partner, there is no child involved, but it’s been going on for so long it makes me sick for him. I have a really hard time accepting prison authorities have almost all-power as there is no real oversight, and no one cares enough to change that… Anyway, if you’d like to get to know Richard, here is his profile on Wire of Hope: https://wireofhope.com/prison-penpal-richard-tabler/

 

Categories: Books, Prison

Within the Shadows of Life

Richard was writing his autobiography when he first joined Wire of Hope. He tells the story of growing up feeling unwanted and unloved and how he embraced a life of crimes while searching for his place in the world… until he ended up on Texas death row.
Without even realizing it, and before he even found anyone to write to through us, we at Wire of Hope made an impact on him, and we were moved to read he even mentioned us in his book.

Categories: Prison

Wedding Anniversary

Today is the 6th anniversary of our legal union. I think we would agree that our commitment to each other took place a year prior, but some days it’s hard not to see the beginning of our correspondence as some type of magickal reunion. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years already…

@sigridwoh I still d❤️. 6 years down, forever to go. #weddinganniversary #prisonwifelife #prisonwifetiktok #incarceration #prisonrelationships #prisonwives #forever #prisonlove #lovelockeddown #longdistancerelationships #truelove #separatedbyprison #lockeduplove #longdistance #prisonvisits #notsilenced #facesofincarceration #happymarriage #deathwontdouspart #lovestory #loveyou ♬ memories – Maroon 5

Being in prison, it can be hard to make a wedding anniversary special.

Wedding anniversaries are a time for couples to celebrate their love and commitment. It is about celebrating the union of two people who pledged to stay together through the good times and the bad (when prison is involved, the bad can be so bad you know a marriage is really strong if it survives it). However, when one spouse is incarcerated it can be difficult to make this day special.

The main goal is to find ways for your spouse to still feel close with you on that day. It is easy when it falls on a visit day but if not, here are some ideas for you:

  • you can send them a card (cards are always special ❤️)

– you can find my “I still d❤️” card in my shop –

  • or/and a JPay/Corrlinks/other institutional email provider message letting them know you are thinking of them;
  • or write down some memories from your past anniversaries and share them with your spouse over the phone if you are lucky to get a phone call that day;
  • give them something they will enjoy receiving on that day. Incarcerated individuals cannot really receive gifts of course, so you are limited to paper gifts:  a book – maybe some type of relationship or appreciation journal, a beautiful picture of you two (or a nice picture of you!), etc. This will require some organization skills and luck to arrive around the right day.
  • You can also post about it on social media. Obviously, only do so if you feel it is safe to do so, on a private page with limited access maybe.  This is just a nice gesture for your incarcerated partner to be acknowledged. I also like to do that to remind people that yes, I do have partner, he is real and loved – and the middle finger to those who did not believe in us or did not support us is always a bonus 😉
  • You can also make your own personal playlist, on Spotify or any other music app you use, and send your spouse the list so they can get the same songs and  listen to it “together” – this will definitely require a budget considering the price of songs when in prison.

Happy Anniversary!

Categories: Life Updates, Prison

Autumn Mood

We do not celebrate Thanksgiving in France, or in Europe altogether, so this is something that was new to me. As someone who is constantly fighting against injustices and other dark — , it’s sometimes hard to keep a positive mind and see the good. Thanksgiving is a good reminder each year to take a breath and note that not everything is bad and list everything we are lucky to have.

All my Thanksgivings have been the opportunity to hold my husband’s hand and tell him I am thankful for him. Not this year. I am still grateful for him but I don’t get to tell him, or see him. I have not seen him in close to a year now. I will get to that when I am able but these holidays will probably be the worst of my life, until now at least as the situation might not get better. It’s hard to be thankful when you feel you lost everything. With no visits and the new mail rule, there is no place for a private conversation anymore and I am wondering how a couple – more so one who is based on conversations and communication – is sustainable in those circumstances. I have already felt pushed back in the last year because my husband’s own lawyers requested copies of ALL his mail, emails and phone calls. Luckily the DOC did not keep copies of letters, so they could not get that, but the fact that they were asking was such an invasion of privacy to me. I have only sent pretty superficial emails since. His lawyer told me that he didn’t see the problem because I never had privacy, only the illusion of privacy. On this, he is very wrong. Yes, letters are screened before they get to him or his to me. Screened. They are not read word by word, copied, distributed around and potentially used in court and so, made public. When you write several-page letters, there is a place in there that is just yours. The letters he writes to today have no relevance in a crime that happened 16 years ago. Do they think we have discussions about the case in letters? Or are they just curious? When they are more interested in finding former one-night stands than go talk to the people who put him on drugs and used him to steal and deal for them as a kid and who are still right there down the street, we have to wonder. I still hope one day I’ll say “wow, they did such an amazing job, and they saved his life”. Then next Thanksgiving I’ll have something to be really grateful for.

I actually liked the people in his legal team that I have met, and I know, as public defenders, they are slammed with too many cases and it’s objectively impossible for them to dig each one. If you work in capital cases I think there is a very hard balance to find between caring enough to really fight for your clients, and being detached enough that you can live with them getting a death sentence. Evyrone hates them too for defending “murderers”, “evil”, “monsters”. Their place is also a tough one to be in.

But back to the mail. The lawyer thing was a while back but it took me some time to calm down and talk about it. I was so upset because I was hurt threefold. I found out while reading court documents, I got slapped in the face that not only he (my husband) is dehumanized, but his whole family is too, and then they were basically telling me it’s not a big deal and didn’t even see a problem or understood why I had a problem with it.
As someone who fights everyday to show the humanity of people behind bars, it was a tough reminder that I, Sigrid, is not seen as human either. My struggles, my feelings don’t matter.

Now that the incoming mail will be digitized, this last tiny place of privacy is gone. Letters will be stored for years (even years after release… which is never, for us). And lawyers and/or prosecutors will be able to request them. I have no way left to talk to my husband, and my husband only.

I still have a little list of things I am thankful for:
– cooler temperature season, finally!
– having a job & health insurance, and my baby boy getting healthier.
– my husband, always.
– kind people (they’re hard to find but I am lucky to know a few).
– Wire of Hope’s growth – but honestly Elodie and I work so damn hard on it, we simply deserve it.
– those who scroll without the urge to leave mean comments « just because » ✌.

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