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Lost in Florida

Personal Blog

Categories: Prison

FDOC Mail Rule change takes effect on November 29th.

The dreaded day has come. The awful dehumanizing new mail rule that we have all been fighting against will take effect on November 29th, 2021.
You can read the full new rule here:
https://docs.google.com/file/d/1ueoAsrmnyy3ZJLapQAe2tkJqsuWOwHJu/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword
The Florida Department of Corrections didn’t have the tiniest heart to let us have the holidays. They also gave no courtesy warning whatsoever: Thanksgiving is next week so there are only 9 mail days left. People from overseas are unlikely to manage to squeeze one last card in.
If you haven’t already, you can read on this previous blog post a non-exhaustive list of all the issues that come with this rule.
So many hearts are broken today at the idea of their incarcerated loved ones never being able to touch a real photograph, a drawing of their children, a greeting card, or simply a piece of paper with our handwriting ever again. Sickening.
Categories: Life Updates, Prison, This American Life

Eyes in the Dark Podcast

After my extremely disappointing experience with Truly Criminal, I had a completely different experience with the podcast Eyes in the Dark. It is a German podcast and I have not spoken German since high school so I am not a listener. However, my good friend Anna-Lena is and mentioned this podcast to me as one of her favorites when we were exchanging references. It’s always weird when you watch a show or listen to a podcast and suddenly, an episode comes out and is about someone you know. That happened to her when she heard an episode they made about the case my husband is linked to.

The case part didn’t upset her as much as the end of the episode, when the two hosts discussed me and my son. They expressed they really couldn’t understand how someone could fall in love with a murderer and – according to my friend since I couldn’t listen to the segment – a lot of wrong information about me. My friend took matters into her own hands (but asked my permission before sending anything because she is a wonderful respectful friend ❤️) and reached out to them expressing her disappointment and near anger at their ending she felt was added for shock value. She listed the erroneous facts about how I met my husband and basically defended my character. She had a great final point explaining they should have verified their information and maybe even talk to me, or leave me out of the episode completely as I have nothing to do with the crime.

This has been a very tough media year for me. Not that I had any media year before lol. It is so weird to watch people suddenly get upset about my life when my relationship is 7 years old! And people bending the truth to make it fit their own narrative and even profit off of it.
It was heartwarming to have a friend standing up for me… and what happens next is pretty amazing (it should be the norm, but definitely isn’t).

They responded and apologized to my friend and OFFERED to correct the information in their next episode. They then reached out to me and apologized to me. Then they did what they said they would: they actually made a special mini-episode of 10 minutes to come back on what they were wrong about and apologized officially. They corrected some information and reminded their listeners of the importance of always fact-checking what you read on the internet. Of course, I couldn’t listen myself either so I am trusting Anna-Lena’s opinion that they did a good job and it was a nice segment.

This was just such a refreshing experience and I am of course most thankful for Anna-Lena having my back. I want to give a shout out to Laura and Sarah from Eyes in the Dark for being good people and (Anna-approved) quality true crime podcast. So if you understand German, give them a listen (I don’t think they have a website so look them up wherever you are listening to your podcasts).

Categories: Prison

Proposed Mail Rule Change Hearing Speech

Good afternoon,

While the FDOC pretends to recognize the important role that family plays in the success of the people in their care, they keep taking steps to scar and erase the family bonds. Today, we have to plead for the simple act of reading a handwritten letter, for incarcerated individuals to hold paper in their hands, to see the little hesitations, the added smiles, and guess the emotions through the shape of the words. My husband’s letters are everything to me, and I still don’t think I can understand how much mine mean to him. This is the last tangible link, and the only place of vague privacy. Now, for the sake of a few new computers every 6 months, the FDOC is trying to take this away, and collect our data to share with a private company and its individuals.

Besides that, the amount of time it is going to take to get a “letter” to our loved ones will be extended and it is not acceptable when e-mails will then be the only way to reach them. FL Prisons and JPay have already proven themselves unfit to provide working material and handle the emails. Just a week ago, at UCI, the guys were without Wi-Fi or decent access to kiosks for 2 weeks. Without the regular mail, this means complete cut-off from the outside and their families. Same idea when they are in confinement, can’t access canteen, and we will be unable to send them stamps and paper. Also the end of the blank greeting cards we donate so they have a semblance of holiday spirit and treat their friends.

On top of this, the FDOC wants to limit the number of pages we can send. Are you able to limit the number of feelings I need to express to my husband too?

The new rule doesn’t even take overseas mail in consideration, which shows how out of touch with reality the minds behind those rules are.

This change will not destroy whatever contraband you believe comes through the mail, it will destroy human spirits and families.

Have a nice day.

Good afternoon,

While the FDOC pretends to recognize the important role that family plays in the success of the people in their care, they keep taking steps to scar and erase the family bonds. Today, we have to plead for the simple act of reading a handwritten letter, for incarcerated individuals to hold paper in their hands, to see the little hesitations, the added smiles, and guess the emotions through the shape of the words. My husband’s letters are everything to me, and I still don’t think I can understand how much mine mean to him. This is the last tangible link, and the only place of vague privacy. Now, for the sake of a few new computers every 6 months, the FDOC is trying to take this away, and collect our data to share with a private company and its individuals.

Besides that, the amount of time it is going to take to get a “letter” to our loved ones will be extended and it is not acceptable when e-mails will then be the only way to reach them. FL Prisons and JPay have already proven themselves unfit to provide working material and handle the emails. Just a week ago, at UCI, the guys were without Wi-Fi or decent access to kiosks for 2 weeks. Without the regular mail, this means complete cut-off from the outside and their families. Same idea when they are in confinement, can’t access canteen, and we will be unable to send them stamps and paper. Also the end of the blank greeting cards we donate so they have a semblance of holiday spirit and treat their friends.

On top of this, the FDOC wants to limit the number of pages we can send. Are you able to limit the number of feelings I need to express to my husband too?

The new rule doesn’t even take overseas mail in consideration, which shows how out of touch with reality the minds behind those rules are.

This change will not destroy whatever contraband you believe comes through the mail, it will destroy human spirits and families.

Have a nice day.

Categories: Prison

The monthly call

Sometimes, I don’t hear from my husband for days, as the prison is holding emails, just because they can, and we don’t have phone calls. And then, I receive a letter or I do get our monthly phone call. And it’s here. That homey feeling. I remember everything. The connection, the love, the strength. For a few minutes, it feels like we have never been separated. We try to update each other quickly on what’s going on for us, mostly our son’s medical problems or needs on my side, we joke, we express our love and commitment. It goes fast, but it gives me a high for a day or two. I’m loved, I have a caring husband, we have a family. Then darkness takes over again, as quickly as that phone call went by. The hurt and pain of missing him is back. The helplessness towards his situation, my situation, and our baby’s situation. More often than not, the hopelessness even. Imagine only hearing the voice of the person you love ONCE a month. 

Categories: Prison

‼️‼️ [ACTION REQUESTED] ‼️

You may have seen in the last couple of days that the FDOC has moved forward with the mail rule changes. If you have not been following this since last year, the FDOC plans to simply get rid of physical incoming mail, by having us send our mail to a third party who will use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) and send it to our incarcerated loved ones through JPay.

This means the end of greeting cards, kids drawings, and much more, and they also limit the weight of our letters to ONE forever stamp.
This also means everything you will ever write will now be saved in a database.

You can read the full proposal here.

Please, make sure to request a public hearing on this matter before 6/8/2021.

Send email to:  Jason.Holman@fdc.myflorida.com
Subject:  Request for Public Hearing on Notice of Proposed Rule 33-210.101

You don’t need to write a lot, just explain that as someone who writes to people in the FDOC care you are directly affected by this rule under F.A.C. 120.536(3) and you want to request a hearing, preferably virtually and with a 14-day notice pursuant to 120.54(3)(a)3., where prison families will be allotted time to speak and the people responsible for the rule be available to answer questions and comments.

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Criminal Justice Reform / Prison Rights Activist.
Small Business @ Pentionery.
Mother in Training.

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