I posted this comment under a Truly Criminal video that used some of my personal pictures, hoping to spark some reflective thinking on the limits of informative true crime, and they hid it.

To clarify, I am here for the true crime documentaries and podcasts (even wrote articles & had my own podcast in the past), and I think Truly Criminal does a good job overall. Whether you start with a mission like Maggie Freleng or Sarah Turney, or simply discuss resolved/closed cases, I am not judging your motivations.
I also understand that being married to someone tied to a bad case comes with a risk of seeing said case in ID or Oxygen shows, YT videos and so on. I don’t like that, but I accept it.
My blood boils at some of the inaccuracies, fictionalization and pure fantasies, but when it concerns the case itself, I am not able to debate much to preserve the legal process (however, you could correct some yourself if you were doing some actual research through the case files).

However, I don’t have to keep quiet when it’s about me. “Prison wives” are expected to live hidden and ashamed, and I refuse to do that. This is why I have been sharing my story, so others feel seen & understood. It worked, I can’t tell you the number of messages I have received from women who reached out to me, A STRANGER, because they felt I was the only one who could understand their situation at that moment.

This is also why I have started the prison penpal program Wire of Hope, to give the opportunity to incarcerated people to present themselves in a different light and maybe find someone who believes in rehabilitation and will give them a second chance.

I volunteered as a teacher in a French Penitentiary for 2 years, and I’m also trying to do my part for criminal justice reform, something that is NOT against the victims, on the contrary, with for example restorative justice. Supporting people who have committed crimes so it does not happen again is a good thing for everyone. You can object to this, but I consider myself a good person.

I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. I know him, deep and raw, like no one has ever known him, and I am very proud of everything he overcame and the man he has become. But because my objective is not to attract attention on him/his case but to help others (and myself) navigate a difficult time, there was never the need to disclose his name.
People have done this for me (“outing” me) repeatedly over the years. It’s always followed by rape and/or death threats… by people upset because of who I love? Can you objectively believe you are better than me if you do that? This always blows my mind…

Last year, I agreed to talk publicly in order to promote  Wire of Hope, on the condition that my husband’s name was NOT revealed, so his case and the victims were left out of it. Call me naive… The producers respected my request but then trash gossip magazines stole my story and pictures – but never mentioned Wire of Hope of course, and made it sound like I talked to them (I never have).
A French garbage magazine even put me on their cover, published 3 pages of straight insults with pictures, including of my kid and one of me pregnant in my underwear. Even if my husband had done what they wrote, they were treating me like I was an even worse person.

I do want my voice to be heard, but for a cause & not like that. I also have the absolute right to live my life as anyone else off and on social media. This does not mean it’s okay or legal to use my photos for shock-value or entertainment without my permission.

It is not okay in gossip magazines, and it’s not okay in true crime videos about a 16 year-old case that has nothing to do with me, or my child.
I was trying to start a conversation, because I feel Truly Criminal crossed a line. I wasn’t coming after them angrily, I was hoping to make them think of the reason they added us to their video, if it was a graceful one, and the possible consequences. But they basically tried to shut me up and though they used my image FOR PROFIT, they ignored me.
I have a real problem with keeping my mouth shut so here we are. If you made it to the end, thank you for reading.

Families impacted by incarceration are numerous in the USA and they have it REALLY hard. Be kind, be supportive, and if this is too hard for you to be an okay human, just leave them alone.