Since I know it’s a matter that a lot of prison girlfriends and fiancées have questions about, I thought I would make a post about the prison marriage process. Of course each prison has its own marriage process so this is only based on my own experience at my (now-) husband’s correctional institution.

The kind of ceremony you can have will also depend on the facility. Some prisons don’t allow weddings, some are behind glass or even by proxy (the possibilities may also depend on the State). Some prisons require the chaplain to officiate. Some allow visitors (guest) to attend, some don’t – when they do, the guests usually have to be already approved on the inmate’s visitation list. Wedding gowns and flowers and cameras are not allowed, the inmate wear their regular visitation clothes and the bride has to follow the regular visitation dress code.

But here is how things worked for us:

– A. made a request to the chaplain for a marriage form. He was told I have to change my status with classification to “girlfriend” (your classification status is the one you had when you filled the visitation application, which is usually pen pal or friend if you are MWI*). The assistant chaplain is actually the one in charge of the paperwork.
*Met While Incarcerated

– I contacted classification and got my status changed in 5 minutes – his classification officer is super reactive and she knew of me since end of 2014 so this was a non-issue.

– A. contacted the assistant chaplain again, stating my status has been changed and giving my full name so he can contact me.

– We met with the chaplain once in the visiting park very quickly (we were still waiting for the forms…), he could record that I was real and obviously visiting. It might sound stupid but it’s quite logic that before they allow a wedding, they check that there are visitations and that we do actually know each other and have a relationship.

– A. eventually received the “marriage interview questionnaire”.
He had to fill out several questions like list things in order of importance in marriage, about areas of responsibility (for example who is supposed to do the household chores or take care of the finances or children and so on 😉 ), about our family consent, and other general questions (ex: have you been honest about your past relationships, criminal charges, addictions?) and define certain words (love, marriage, commitment).
The last page was to list the (approved) visitors to attend the wedding.

– He met with the assistant chaplain to sign the marriage paperwork and discuss reasons for marrying.

– I received a letter “in response to an Inmate Request from Mr. W. to marry you while incarcerated” […] “If you consent to this marriage, you will need to read the attached forms, sign/date then and mail them”. One form was the “request to marry”, my fiancé and my information were already all on it and we both had to sign it, the other one was a list of rules and information about the process.*
* that we had to find our own person to marry us and have that person approved at the prison, that the ceremony would take place in the visitation park on a regular visiting day but after the visit – for a grand total of 30 minutes, that all fees are my responsibility, that I have to bring the marriage license (and bring the license back to the Clerk of Court after the wedding to have the marriage recorded) and that there is a 3-day waiting period to marry after obtaining a license in Florida, that I have to follow the usual dress code, that his ring must not cost over $100 and that I must bring the receipt, and that I must decide if I keep my maiden name or take his name.

– After the assistant chaplain received those papers signed by me, they were sent to A. for him to sign them too and send them back to the assistant chaplain. A. was told at that time that the next step was “psy + security”.

– A psychologist met with A. a morning at his cell. I don’t really know what was discussed but it was very short.

– It seems A. “passed” the psy test and the paperwork was then sent to Tallahasse (DOC) for approval. It usually takes two to three months to get approval to marry from the DOC.

It seems pretty quick and easy but you have to think “prison”, “paperwork”, “mail”, “slow” 😉 At this point we are mid-September and my classification status was changed in April (to give you an idea).
The marriage approval from the DOC took exactly 2 months (we were approved mid-November) though I was only told a couple weeks later.
Our DOC approval was valid for a year (this also varies in each State/prison).

The next step was to agree on a date with the prison (still through the assistant chaplain) and find a notary public to perform the wedding. You can take anyone you want but you have to have that person approved by the prison, so count an extra month for that. We decided to go with one of the notaries already approved by the prison. The arrangements are to be made between the notary and you.

Getting closer to the date and being in the USA eventually (I’m from Europe), I could take care of the marriage license. Our notary public told me where in Florida it was possible to get a license without the groom. To get a license you usually have to show up together with your IDs and you’re good to go. It gets a little more complicated when your loved one is incarcerated but with the right information it goes pretty smoothly.
If you are in Northern Florida, you have to go to the Union County Courthouse in Lake Butler. You (the non-incarcerated applicant) must appear in person in the Clerk’s office and must provide:
– a photo ID (passport)
– social security for both parties (so you have to know your fiancé social security)
– state of birth for both parties
– the letter of approval from the DOC
– a color copy of your fiancé’s inmate DOC face sheet (print his profile page from the DOC website’s offender list directly)
– the license fee ($93.50) in cash.
As I said earlier there is a 3-day waiting period before the license is valid, it is then valid for 60 days and you must return it within 30 days from the date of the wedding.
! Sometimes the prison requires that the license is brought to the prison to be signed by the inmate before the wedding, in my case he just signed it in front of the notary public on the wedding day but you must check with the prison for their own process !

Then you show up at the prison with your marriage license on the wedding day, with the wedding bands (and the receipt for the inmate’s one), and marry your special one 🙂

If you think I forgot something important or if you have questions, let me know 🙂